grassmonk.net

You know those people who make the little quote marks with their fingers while they’re talking? I think they should have their fingers “cut off.” Or maybe a little something else…

Seriously, this is something that is wrong and simply must be stopped. We cannot allow this kind of criminal behavior to continue. It is reprehensible and totally inappropriate.

Of course, when I say this practice must be stopped, I mean by everyone except me, for the same underlying reason that I could never be a cop. I’d break the law and expect people to look the other way. I don’t see anything wrong with it, because I imagine millions of cops do the same thing. Do you think Officer Friendly is really “friendly?” Think again. He probably spends his off-duty time sitting at his computer in a dark room, downloading MP3s and bootlegs of The Matrix off IRC. That’s what I would do. I’d take great delight in giving people tickets and shoving them up against chain-link fences, knowing that my massive collection of illicit tunes and low-quality VCDs was waiting for me to get home and crank up the volume.

It makes me chuckle just to think about it.

Now where was I? Oh yes, quote marks. I mean, who started this practice? My bet is geeky 35-year-old homeless people. Homeless people are generally all right, but you never can trust a 35 plus geek. Just look at Bill Gates. He wants your firstborn son and the kitchen sink, and to get them sub-contracts expensive lawyers to write EULAs to which we, the unwittingly laymen, agree without thought. Now imagine Bill Gates as a homeless bum. It’s hysterical, but a little scary, too. Admit it, it’s scary.

I guess my point would be stop “finger-quoting” or you’ll be “sorry.” I’ll find a way.

…and I reckon about .0000002% of the population will notice.

At any rate, I now have a primitive blog. Insanely primitive. So primitive is my blog, in fact, that it probably shouldn’t even be called primitive. Primeval is a better word.

A couple of features are upcoming, at any rate. The biggest one will be the ability to view the entire list of blog entries, or pick and choose from your favorite month and year. I may even throw in a date range select if I’m feeling especially industrious, which may mean to expect it on the other side of sometime next decade. To avoid cutting off my sentences and suchlike mid-thingy, another important feature is going to be a better substring select. Perhaps a comment feature. Perhaps a lot of things exist on the other side of next decade. Well, back to work on the ol’ site…