Poetism Commentary: “I Am Not Your Random Abuse”

The poem in question: I Am Not Your Random Abuse

This is the second poem I wrote when I (arguably) should have been paying attention in my HEPE 129 class at BYU.  As with I’m Not Sorry, written a few days before, the theme is someone who has escaped a bad relationship.  “Random Abuse” definitely seems more forceful to me, though.

It’s written from the perspective of someone who is the victim of constant gaslighting, though I don’t think I had ever heard that term back then.  (Thanks, exit from the LDS church, for teaching me!)  Narcissism also seems play a prominent role in the other party’s actions.

The title is an homage to the They Might Be Giants song “I Am Not Your Broom,” and the TMBG influence can be heavily felt in the meter and rhyming.  However, today when I read this poem, I think if it were a song it would sound something like R.E.M.’s “Mystery to Me.”  The words themselves are almost rambling in nature, and I particularly like the slant rhyme of “something” and “dumpling.”

As evidenced by the image below, the final version went through a fair amount of revision before being deemed “suitable” for publication.  It looks like the only portion that made it unscathed from the initial draft was the final stanza / “chorus.”  One other interesting tidbit is that the two lines before that final stanza were initially part of the web-published version, as my collective printout includes them:

Too bad the soda’s never there when you need it most
If a bottle broke it’s neck on you you might wake up someday

I find those lines at once disturbingly dark (domestic violence innuendo, anyone?) and hilarious: never would 18-year-old me dream of a beer bottle.  It would of course be soda.

The numbers in the margin of the handwritten text indicate the number of syllables per line.  I count those often, but this is the only instance I can find of writing them down.  And finally, here is my attempted transcription of the original text:

I am not your random abuse

You can’t blame me for what’s happened you did to yourself
If you’re distraught it’s not even close to my fault
You run around screaming and that’s why I got out
Your path was destruction never come to a halt
You looked in the mirror and thought I looked back at you
I guess now you’re so far gone that there’s no getting back
Unless of course you finally [unsure] take to heart what I said to you before
You’ve got no real chance to get back on the right track

But you’ve never listened to me before
So why should you bother to start now?
Why would you unstop your ears
You’ve tried so hard to unlearn how
You think that myself did this to yourself
And I tell yourself [unsure] deduce
That fact remains despite your flat rejection: what you may say
I am not your random abuse

You [unsure] out at me from behind bars you put there
Cry so hard that I almost feel sorry for something
But then I remember that you said somehow it’s my fault
And since it ain’t it you’re just all out of luck, my little dumpling
You are not mine, I am not yours
What does it take before you understand what I say?
Too bad the soda’s taken, guzzled years before never there when you need it most
If a bottle broke its neck on you you might wake up someday

It seems to me your brain’s impaired
Or maybe just a little loose
Whatever’s messed inside your head
I am not your random abuse

The final version is definitely more… refined, but the original quick rambling has its share of charm.  Especially

Too bad the soda’s taken, guzzled years before

I mean, if that isn’t golden verse, I don’t now what is.  (Just kidding, I do.)

Poetism Commentary: “I’m Not Sorry”

The poem in question: I’m Not Sorry

I wrote this poem, and at least one other, during a class at BYU: HEPE 129 (it’s pronounced “heppie”).  I believe it was called “Fitness and Lifestyle Management,” though that may have changed in the 20 years since I was there.  It was a class I took for P.E. credit, because I was, and am, adverse to actual physical education.

My then-girlfriend was also in the class, and I would often find ways not to pay as much attention as I should.  One time a friend of my girlfriend was talking to me and I said something about doing something “metaphorically.”  Confused, she asked if I meant “metaphysically,” and my girlfriend rolled her eyes and responded, “No, he definitely means metaphorically.”  I have no recollection of any other part of the conversation.

Anyway, one day during class I jotted down “I’m Not Sorry.”  It doesn’t have any particular personal meaning that I recall; I just thought it would be funny.  I guess it’s obstensibly about someone getting out of a bad relationship.

The lyrical style is inspired by They Might Be Giants, probably their song “Hey Mr. DJ I Thought You Said We Had a Deal.”  At the time I must have been listening to TMBG a lot, as the back side of the page on which I wrote “I’m Not Sorry” contains the lyrics to “The End of the Tour,” which I maintain is one of their finest compositions.

For me, the dearth of punctuation in the poem emphasizes the flippant attitude of the speaker toward the person he is addressing; he can’t be bothered to dress it up for her.

There are some minor variations in the different versions I have.  The lines

Act like I haven’t even heard
And you’ll slam the phone down in my face

are sometimes written as

And act like I haven’t even heard
You’ll slam the phone down in my face

and

Appeal, appeal to my guilt sense
Entice me, you must think I’m dense

is sometimes written as

Appeal, you appeal to my guilt sense
Entice me, you must think I’m so dense

The last two lines as originally written are

I don’t wanna see you anymore
Because I already said I’m sorry once before.

Finally, here is an image of the original handwritten version:

Media Update January – August 2019

January

Movies

  • Aladdin
  • All-Star Superman
  • Back to the Future
  • Back to the Future Part II
  • Back to the Future Part III
  • Batman: Assault on Arkham
  • Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Part 1
  • Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Part 2
  • Batman: Gotham Knight
  • Batman: Under the Red Hood
  • Batman: Year One
  • Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog
  • Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths
  • Justice League: Doom
  • Justice League: Gods and Monsters
  • Justice League: The New Frontier
  • Logan
  • Mission: Impossible – Fallout
  • Pixar Short Films Collection Volume 3
  • Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
  • Superman: Doomsday
  • Superman: Unbound
  • Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
  • Superman/Batman: Apocalypse
  • Venom
  • The Wolverine
  • Wonder Woman
  • X-Men: Days of Future Past
  • X-Men: Apocalypse

TV

  • Angel – 8 episodes
  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine – 2 episodes

Video Games

  • Pokemon Let’s GO! Eevee

February

Movies

  • American Pie
  • Batman Ninja
  • Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure
  • Deadpool 2
  • The Death of Superman
  • Justice League vs. Teen Titans
  • Split
  • Teen Titans: The Judas Contract

TV

  • Angel – 14 episodes
  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine – 5 episodes
  • Cheers – 18 episodes
  • Firefly – 5 episodes
  • NYPD Blue – 37 episodes

March

Books

  • Ender’s Game

Movies

  • Captain Marvel
  • How to Train Your Dragon
  • How to Train Your Dragon 2
  • How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
  • Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
  • Serenity
  • Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
  • Unbreakable
  • Wreck-It Ralph
  • Ralph Breaks the Internet

TV

  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine – 4 episodes
  • Cheers – 36 episodes
  • Dollhouse – 3 episodes
  • Firefly – 8 episodes
  • NYPD Blue – 29 episodes
  • The Umbrella Academy – 10 episodes
  • Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt – 8 episodes

April

Movies

  • Aquaman
  • The Avengers
  • Avengers: Age of Ultron
  • Avengers: Infinity War
  • Avengers: Endgame
  • Batman Begins
  • The Cable Guy
  • Captain America: The First Avenger
  • Captain America: The Winter Soldier
  • Captain America: Civil War
  • Doctor Strange
  • Guardians of the Galaxy
  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
  • The Incredible Hulk
  • The Incredibles
  • Incredibles 2
  • Iron Man
  • Iron Man 2
  • Iron Man 3
  • Thor
  • Thor: Ragnarok
  • The Truman Show
  • Wanted

TV

  • Arrested Development – 16 episodes
  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine – 4 episodes
  • Dollhouse – 23 episodes
  • NYPD Blue – 6 episodes
  • The Punisher – 13 episodes
  • Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt – 4 episodes

Video Games

  • The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
  • Super Mario World

May

Movies

  • Ant-Man
  • Avengers: Endgame
  • Glass
  • Hot Rod
  • The Lion King
  • Spider-Man: Homecoming
  • Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
  • Thor: The Dark World

TV

  • The Big Bang Theory – 24 episodes
  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine – 48 episodes
  • NYPD Blue – 56 episodes

Video Games

  • New Super Luigi U

June

Movies

  • Ant-Man and the Wasp
  • Black Panther
  • The Hunchback of Notre Dame
  • Justice League vs. The Fatal Five
  • The Princess Bride
  • Reign of the Supermen
  • Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
  • Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
  • X-Men: Dark Phoenix

TV

  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine – 59 episodes
  • Going Postal – 2 episodes
  • Good Omens – 6 episodes
  • Jessica Jones – 13 episodes
  • Mad About You – 22 episodes
  • NYPD Blue – 4 episodes
  • Star Trek: Discovery – 14 episodes

Video Games

  • Cadence of Hyrule: Crypt of the Necrodancer

July

Books

  • The Light Fantastic

Movies

  • The Animatrix
  • Bandits
  • Captain Marvel
  • Crazy, Stupid, Love.
  • Hot Rod
  • The Matrix
  • The Matrix Reloaded
  • The Matrix Revolutions
  • Mission: Impossible
  • Spider-Man
  • Spider-Man 2
  • Spider-Man 3
  • Spider-Man: Far From Home
  • Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
  • Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

TV

  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine – 26 episodes
  • Hogfather – 3 episodes
  • Iron Man: Armored Adventures – 2 episodes
  • NYPD Blue – 35 episodes

Video Games

  • The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds

August

Movies

  • Across the Universe
  • Avengers: Endgame
  • Big Trouble
  • The Bourne Identity
  • The Bourne Supremacy
  • The Bourne Ultimatum
  • Chain Reaction
  • The Dark Knight
  • The Dark Knight Rises
  • Detective Pikachu
  • Die Hard
  • Die Hard 2: Die Harder
  • Die Hard With a Vengeance
  • Easy A
  • Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
  • Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  • Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
  • Hook
  • Howl’s Moving Castle
  • The Italian Job
  • Jumanji
  • Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle
  • Knight and Day
  • Live Free or Die Hard
  • The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
  • Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
  • The Princess and the Frog
  • Princess Mononoke
  • Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
  • Salt
  • Shazam!
  • So I Married an Axe Murderer
  • Star Trek
  • Star Trek Into Darkness
  • Star Trek Beyond
  • The Three Musketeers
  • Waiting
  • Wayne’s World

TV

  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. – 13 episodes
  • NYPD Blue – 30 episodes

Stuff not from my 2018 goals

Included here, this time, are movies found in my 2018 favorites list.

TV

Hadn’t seen before:

  • Daredevil (season 3)
  • Iron Fist (season 2)
  • Luke Cage (season 2)

Had seen before:

  • Angel (seasons 1 – 4)
  • Arrested Development (seasons 1 – 4)

Daredevil was just as compelling as the first two seasons.  Iron Fist was a marked improvement over season 1.  Luke Cage was not as great.  I don’t mind its cancellation, but I would have liked to see more Iron Fist and especially Daredevil.

As I mentioned elsewhere, in 2018 I showed Buffy the Vampire Slayer to my daughter (and occasionally my sons) for the first time.  I was going to skip Angel, but she wanted the full experience (and Angel is pretty good), so I bought the DVDs and we watched them intermixed with Buffy.

I rewatched Arrested Development in anticipation of season 5.  I enjoyed the recut episodes of season 4 more than the originals.  Seasons 1 – 3 remain the best.

Movies:

Hadn’t seen before:

  • Adam Sandler: 100% Fresh
  • Batman: Gotham by Gaslight
  • Batman Ninja
  • Daddy’s Home 2
  • The Death of Superman
  • The Hitman’s Bodyguard
  • Ingrid Goes West
  • Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle
  • The LEGO Ninjago Movie
  • Logan Lucky
  • Magic Mike
  • A Quiet Place
  • Saludos Amigos
  • Se7en
  • The Spy Who Dumped Me
  • Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay
  • The Three Caballeros

Had seen before:

  • Batman & Mr. Freeze: Sub Zero
  • Deadpool
  • The Hunger Games
  • The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
  • The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1
  • The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2
  • X-Men
  • X2: X-Men United
  • X-Men: The Last Stand
  • X-Men Origins: Wolverine
  • X-Men: First Class

With a few exceptions (Funny People, Bedtime Stories, Grown Ups) I haven’t seen any of Adam Sandler’s movies that have come out since 2005.  Somewhere around that time his films just stopped looking like something I wanted to watch (of course I still love “classic” Adam Sandler films like Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, The Wedding Singer, etc.).  I decided to check out his new stand-up special, 100% Fresh, on Netflix.  It took 15 or 20 minutes to get going for me, but after that it was just hilarious.  The Chris Farley tribute song was very touching.

Of the new DC animated films that came out in 2018, I enjoyed Batman Ninja and The Death of Superman the most.  I’m usually a sucker for any Superman movie that isn’t Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, or Superman IV (though, faced with only those choices, I would pick Superman IV to watch any day of the week).  I want to watch Reign of the Supermen, but for some reason Netflix doesn’t have the disc, so I’ll have to wait for a potential Black Friday sale.

I saw Ingrid Goes West because I like Aubrey Plaza.  I also saw it described somewhere as a modern The Cable Guy.  I prefer the latter, but the former was a good one-time view.

I had heard about Se7en before, and finally decided to watch it one night on Netflix.  It was somewhat disturbing.

Continuing to watch movies with my daughter for the first time, we watched The Hunger Games series and began X-Men, since she loves Patrick Stewart so much after watching Star Trek: The Next Generation.  We’re both looking forward to seeing Dark Phoenix this summer.

Goals for 2019

Books to Read

  • The Ender Quartet (Ender’s Game, Speaker for the Dead, Xenocide, Children of the Mind)
  • The First Formic War Trilogy (Earth Unaware, Earth Afire, Earth Awakens)
  • As many of the Discworld books as I can, particularly Raising Steam and The Shepherd’s Crown

TV Seasons to Watch

Haven’t seen before:

  • Cheers (seasons 10 – 11)
  • DuckTales (volume 4)
  • The Flintstones (seasons 2 – 6)
  • The Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show (season 1)

Have seen before, but haven’t yet watched my BDs/DVDs:

  • Angel (season 5)
  • Mad About You (season 7)
  • NYPD Blue (seasons 5 – 9)

Have seen before:

  • NYPD Blue (seasons 1 – 4, 10 – 12)
  • Pinky and the Brain (volumes 1 – 3)

Currently airing/will air this year:

  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (season 6)
  • Arrested Development (season 5)
  • The Big Bang Theory (season 12)
  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine (season 6)
  • Homeland (season 8)
  • Jessica Jones (season 3)
  • The Punisher (season 2)
  • Star Trek: Discovery (season 2)
  • Unbreakble Kimmy Schmidt (season 4)

Movies to Watch

From last year:

  • Aquaman
  • Ralph Breaks the Internet
  • Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
  • Venom

From previous years, already seen or not:

  • Batman: Ninja
  • 007: Spectre
  • Deadpool 2
  • The Death of Superman
  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1
  • The Incredibles
  • Incredibles 2
  • The Journey of Natty Gann
  • Jumanji
  • Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle
  • Mission: Impossible
  • Mission: Impossible – Fallout
  • Pixar Short Films Collection Vol. 3
  • Star Trek Beyond
  • Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
  • Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
  • Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
  • Star Wars: Solo
  • Star Wars: Rogue One
  • Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
  • Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
  • Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
  • Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens
  • Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
  • Teen Titans: The Judas Contract
  • The Wolverine
  • X-Men: Days of Future Past
  • X-Men: Apocalypse
  • Logan

New this year:

  • Avengers: Endgame
  • Batman: Hush
  • Captain Marvel
  • Frozen 2
  • How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
  • Jumanji 3
  • Justice League vs. The Fatal Five
  • The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part
  • The New Mutants
  • Reign of the Supermen
  • Shazam!
  • Spider-Man: Far From Home
  • Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker
  • Toy Story 4
  • X-Men: Dark Phoenix

BDs/DVDs I [try to] watch at least once a year:

  • The Avengers
  • Avengers: Age of Ultron
  • Avengers: Infinity War
  • Batman Begins
  • The Dark Knight
  • The Dark Knight Rises
  • The Bourne Identity
  • The Bourne Supremacy
  • The Bourne Ultimatum
  • Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog
  • Firefly
  • Serenity
  • (500) Days of Summer
  • The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
  • The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
  • The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
  • The Matrix
  • The Matrix Reloaded
  • The Matrix Revolutions
  • Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
  • Spider-Man
  • Spider-Man 2
  • Spider-Man 3
  • Superman Returns
  • The Truman Show

BDs/DVDs I [try to] watch at least once every other year:

  • Elf
  • The Fifth Element
  • The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
  • The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
  • The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies
  • The Muppet Christmas Carol
  • Star Trek
  • Star Trek Into Darkness
  • Wonder Woman

BDs/DVDs I haven’t watched since 2015 or before:

  • The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad
  • Aladdin
  • Back to the Future
  • Back to the Future Part II
  • Back to the Future Part III
  • Bandits
  • Batman
  • Batman Forever
  • Batman: Assault on Arkham
  • Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
  • Batman: Gotham Knight
  • Batman: Under the Red Hood
  • Beauty and the Beast
  • Bewitched
  • Big Hero 6
  • Big Trouble
  • 007: The Living Daylights
  • 007: License to Kill
  • 007: Goldeneye
  • 007: Tomorrow Never Dies
  • 007: The World Is Not Enough
  • 007: Die Another Day
  • 007: Casino Royale
  • 007: Quantum of Solace
  • 007: Skyfall
  • A Bug’s Life
  • The Cable Guy
  • Chain Reaction
  • Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs
  • Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2
  • Crazy, Stupid, Love.
  • Dinosaur
  • DuckTales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp
  • Dumb and Dumber
  • Dumbo
  • Easy A
  • Elektra
  • Fantasia
  • Fantasia 2000
  • 50 First Dates
  • Flight of the Navigator
  • Follow That Bird
  • Fun and Fancy Free
  • Ghostbusters
  • Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
  • Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  • Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
  • Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
  • Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
  • Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
  • Hercules
  • Home on the Range
  • Horton Hears a Who!
  • Hot Rod
  • Howl’s Moving Castle
  • How the Grinch Stole Christmas
  • How to Train Your Dragon
  • How to Train Your Dragon 2
  • The Hunchback of Notre Dame
  • I Am Legend
  • I, Robot
  • The Italian Job
  • Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie
  • The Jungle Book
  • Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths
  • Justice League: Doom
  • Justice League: The New Frontier
  • Kermit’s Swamp Years
  • Kiki’s Delivery Service
  • Knight and Day
  • The LEGO Movie
  • The Lion King
  • The Majestic
  • Maleficent
  • Mary Poppins
  • The Animatrix
  • Les Miserables
  • Mr. & Mrs. Smith
  • The Muppet Movie
  • The Muppets
  • Muppets Most Wanted
  • Mystery Men
  • National Treasure
  • National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets
  • 101 Dalmatians
  • Phineas and Ferb: Across the Second Dimension
  • Piglet’s Big Movie
  • The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything
  • Pixar Short Films Collection Vol. 1
  • Pixar Short Films Collection Vol. 2
  • Pom Poko
  • Ponyo
  • Pooh’s Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin
  • Pooh’s Heffalump Movie
  • Porco Rosso
  • The Princess and the Frog
  • The Princess Bride
  • Princess Mononoke
  • Puss in Boots
  • Ratatouille
  • Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
  • Salt
  • Shrek
  • Shrek 2
  • Shrek the Third
  • Shrek Forever After
  • So I Married an Axe Murderer
  • The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
  • Speed Racer
  • Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
  • Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
  • Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
  • Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
  • Stranger Than Fiction
  • Superman: The Movie
  • Superman II
  • Superman III
  • All-Star Superman
  • Superman: Doomsday
  • Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
  • Superman/Batman: Apocalypse
  • Superman: Unbound
  • Super Mario Bros.
  • Tales from Earthsea
  • Tangled
  • Tarzan
  • The Three Musketeers
  • Toy Story
  • Toy Story 2
  • Toy Story 3
  • The Transformers: The Movie
  • Treasure Planet
  • Up
  • WALL-E
  • Wayne’s World
  • The Wind Rises
  • Wonder Woman
  • Wreck-It Ralph

Video Games to Play

First-time Plays:

  • Crash Bandicoot (N-Sane Trilogy edition)
  • Crash Bandicoot 2 (N-Sane Trilogy edition)
  • Crash Bandicoot 3 (N-Sane Trilogy edition)
  • Pokemon Let’s GO! Eevee

Replays:

  • The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Other

  • More poetism commentaries
  • More “Greatest Talks, Etc.” entries